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How to cook turkey — Parallax Forums

How to cook turkey

xanaduxanadu Posts: 3,347
edited 2013-12-01 02:48 in General Discussion
What setting is everyone using to cook the turkey on? There's defrost, reheat, popcorn, and dinner plate? Should i just put it in for an hour on hi?
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Comments

  • Ron CzapalaRon Czapala Posts: 2,418
    edited 2013-11-28 08:42
    Don't think I'd use a microwave...

    Cooking chart:

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081126132333AAZYDtf
  • bill190bill190 Posts: 769
    edited 2013-11-28 08:55
    I cook mine on top of the woodstove. So for that just open the air damper all the way and keep sticking in wood every now and then.

    Also coat the turkey with mayonnaise - helps to keep in moisture. Another trick is to cook it upside down, then top part remains more moist!

    Note there are some very interesting facts about cooking things other than turkeys, which are discussed in scientific cookbooks, but not mentioned in regular cookbooks. For example flour can be different in different parts of the country. A bread recipe using flour from the south may not work using flour from the north! (Helps to know these little details!) Here are a couple of scientific cookbooks...

    The Science of Cooking
    http://www.amazon.com/The-Science-Cooking-Peter-Barham/dp/3540674667

    CookWise...
    http://www.amazon.com/CookWise-Successful-Cooking-Secrets-Revealed/dp/0688102298
  • LoopyBytelooseLoopyByteloose Posts: 12,537
    edited 2013-11-28 09:06
    Well ... if you cut up the turkey, you can cook pieces in a microwave or even a frying pan. But with a microwave, there will not be a nice brown skin on the outside. It is a simple principle, while a whole turkey requires stuffing and baking for hours; small chunks can take as little as 20 minutes if you just cut it up as you would cut up a whole chicken. butchering any bird is about the same.

    If I had a frozen turkey, I'd leave it in a plastic bag in a sink full of water to defrost quickly. Defrosting in a microwave is not meant for such a big item. You don't use hot water, just cold tap water. In that way, the defrosted turkey stays cold and safe from growing bacteria. If you just put the turkey in cold water withouut the plastic bag protecting it, the meat would loose all its flavor.
  • localrogerlocalroger Posts: 3,451
    edited 2013-11-28 09:22
    Wrap it in aluminum foil, tie it to your car's exhaust manifold, and drive about 150 miles. Works great if your relatives live about that far away.
  • Hal AlbachHal Albach Posts: 747
    edited 2013-11-28 09:24
    We use an electric rotisserie (Set it and Forget it!) 12 minutes per pound. Comes out a beautiful golden color and oh so juicy! We also use a garlic butter baste with an exotic herb paste injected into the meat.
  • LoopyBytelooseLoopyByteloose Posts: 12,537
    edited 2013-11-28 09:38
    I guess you could just immerse the whole turkey in a gallon or so of lemon juice and skip applying heat completely. Add a bit of cilantro and sliced onions for flavor.

    I wonder if electrocution could find an optimal configuration to cook a whole turkey. Smoked slowly over plum wood and low heat for a day or so might produce a delightful flavor. Or you could go Mongol style and flatten the turkey splitting the spine, put the whole turkey under your saddle, and ride off to visit relatives a few hundred miles away. It should be ready to eat upon arrival.
  • Heater.Heater. Posts: 21,230
    edited 2013-11-28 11:07
    How to cook a turkey with a microwave oven:

    0) When your turkey is defrosted cut the skin here and there with a sharp knife (This prevents explosions later).
    1) Remove the transformer from the microwave oven.
    2) Connect the secondary winding to opposite ends of the turkey. A couple of meat skewers deeply embedded in the turkey as terminals will help.
    3) Connect the primary to the mains and switch on.
    4) When it's done switch off the power and you have a nice and crispy turkey dinner.

    WARNING Do not get any where near the turkey during cooking. Microwave transformers put out 5000 or so volts with no current limiting.

    Here is an example of how it's done: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvS6bOKLhFs
  • Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi)Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi) Posts: 23,514
    edited 2013-11-28 11:15
    Some folks like 'em deep-fried:

    -Phil
  • ercoerco Posts: 20,256
    edited 2013-11-28 11:18
    120VAC, with LED cooking indicators!
  • Heater.Heater. Posts: 21,230
    edited 2013-11-28 12:46
    I do like the Christmas lights touch.

    Now, should you have some surprise guests and need a turkey dinner in a hurry there is always dynamite:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F0fJx_gBb4
  • xanaduxanadu Posts: 3,347
    edited 2013-11-28 13:08
    Haha I gave up on the microwave guys, I'm using a spark gap ignitor now... mmmmmmm
  • xanaduxanadu Posts: 3,347
    edited 2013-11-28 13:09
    Heater. wrote: »
    How to cook a turkey with a microwave oven:

    0) When your turkey is defrosted cut the skin here and there with a sharp knife (This prevents explosions later).
    1) Remove the transformer from the microwave oven.
    2) Connect the secondary winding to opposite ends of the turkey. A couple of meat skewers deeply embedded in the turkey as terminals will help.
    3) Connect the primary to the mains and switch on.
    4) When it's done switch off the power and you have a nice and crispy turkey dinner.

    WARNING Do not get any where near the turkey during cooking. Microwave transformers put out 5000 or so volts with no current limiting.

    Here is an example of how it's done: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvS6bOKLhFs

    I think I did something similar when I was a lot younger... did not go over well at all lol.
  • skylightskylight Posts: 1,915
    edited 2013-11-28 13:34
    Has anyone tried to cook tesla turkey? :smile:
  • RickBRickB Posts: 395
    edited 2013-11-28 13:47
    The only way to cook a turkey.

    http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1368&dat=19591122&id=6swwAAAAIBAJ&sjid=hA8EAAAAIBAJ&pg=5409,1126263

    This recipe, minus the flour, egg, mustard coating is in the oven as I type this. And yes, it is the only way to cook a turkey. Get used to it!
    Been doing it for years. There is nothing like it.

    Rick
  • skylightskylight Posts: 1,915
    edited 2013-11-28 13:52
    Is it possible to smoke a turkey, no not that way! I mean hang it up in a smoke chimney like kippers
  • Peter KG6LSEPeter KG6LSE Posts: 1,383
    edited 2013-11-28 13:57
    skylight wrote: »
    Has anyone tried to cook tesla turkey? :smile:


    Challenge accepted


    493249714_5a184ee333_z.jpg

    493247246_4ddeaf10c4_z.jpg
  • skylightskylight Posts: 1,915
    edited 2013-11-28 14:02
    wow i bet it turned out juicy!
  • GadgetmanGadgetman Posts: 2,436
    edited 2013-11-28 23:35
    *Sigh*

    The ONLY way to ook the turkey is this:

    1. Set up a fireproof table in the garden.
    2. Place raw turkey in the middle of table.
    3. Stuff turkey With Thermite.
    4. Light fuse and leg it!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU8iRYbnAb0
  • LoopyBytelooseLoopyByteloose Posts: 12,537
    edited 2013-11-29 05:20
    With cooking skills like these, it is no wonder that people would rather go shopping than gather with family for a meal.

    Only one thing is better than an oven-roasted turkey.... an oven-roasted turkey AND bacon.
    I could do without the thermite or automotive exhaust as flavoring. GSR from powder burns are bad enough.

    If you skip the detonation, dynamite will burn and provide a nice little fire for roasting, and a nice nitroglycerin flavor.
  • Heater.Heater. Posts: 21,230
    edited 2013-11-29 06:12
    Loopy,

    I'm with you. Let's skip the Turkey and just load up on bacon!
  • User NameUser Name Posts: 1,451
    edited 2013-11-29 14:59
    I'm suspicious of any recipe that includes "light the fuse" or "get away!"
  • Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi)Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi) Posts: 23,514
    edited 2013-11-29 19:39
    Of course, everybody knows that, except for an aberration of history, the traditional Thanksgiving dinner was supposed to be roast eagle, not turkey. Well, here, give a listen (starting a 3:25):

    BTW, if you listen from the beginning and if you're hung up on political correctness, please remember that this is satire -- not to be taken literally. In my case, of course, having the Pilgrims treated with such mocking irony does sting a little. :)

    -Phil
  • LoopyBytelooseLoopyByteloose Posts: 12,537
    edited 2013-11-30 08:39
    In Taiwan, you can always rely on a local restaurant offering an expensive turkey dinner, and then being served canned smoked turkey.

    Maybe Phil desires canned smoked eagle. That would go nicely with the Christmas gourmet item of canned reindeer meat balls.

    Frankly, I am a bit weary of the big Thanksgiving turkey, a roast goose is more interesting. And having back-to-back Thanksgiving turkey and Christmas turkey may just lead a family to divorce at the end of two months of turkey sandwiches.

    I knew a gal whose family acually raised peacocks and had a roast peacock for Thanksgiving each year. But I still prefer some variety each year, surprise me with w a roast suckling pig or steak and lobster. I suspect many would be even more thankful for the variety.

    Venison meatballs and spaghetti are another interesting alternative.
  • bill190bill190 Posts: 769
    edited 2013-11-30 10:00
    Well I googled "canned reindeer meat balls" and came up with this (gift giving idea for your dearest friends...)...

    14 Strangest Canned Foods...
    http://www.oddee.com/item_96711.aspx
  • Heater.Heater. Posts: 21,230
    edited 2013-11-30 10:13
    Nothing strange about reindeer meat in a can. Every super market in Finland has it. http://fromfinland.fi/en/reindeer-meat.html
  • PublisonPublison Posts: 12,366
    edited 2013-11-30 10:52
    Anyone used the brining technique before cooking?

    Supposed to be more moist and tender.
  • LoopyBytelooseLoopyByteloose Posts: 12,537
    edited 2013-11-30 10:53
    Nothing strange about reindeer meat? It is almost equal to roasting the Easter bunny that brings all those eggs.
    One dares to offend Ruldopf, Donner, Comet, Blitzner, and the rest...
    How might Santa Claus deliver all his gifts? Do the elves in his workshop dine on reindeer?

    Next you will be eating the family dog.
    BTW, I do know that reindeer is very much a staple in Finland and the far north of scandinavia... but Chirstmas has become such a sacred fiction that eating reindeer meat shocks the kids. (And the Koreans still like to eat dog.)

    Brining? I suppose that is why pastrami and corned beef are soo... good. Beef brisket is an interesting chunk of meat with lots of flavor. It some ways better than a steak.
  • GadgetmanGadgetman Posts: 2,436
    edited 2013-11-30 11:14
    One of the most popular canned meatballs in Norway:

    http://www.joika.no/getfile.php/Joika/Bilder/produktbilde_joika.jpg
    (They were also sold in Sweden, and there they were even more popular than their own meatballs... Until the manufacturer couldn't deliver enough fr both countries, and enterprising Norwegians started smuggling them across the border to 'help our neighbours'. A lot of them got caught, there was a lot of writing in the newspapers... and suddenly the Swedes decided to buy their own meatballs...Sucks to be them... The IKEA meatballs doesn't come close...)
    These went on the market not long after WWII, but except for the can changing shape a couple of times, it still looks the same.
    Tastes the same, too ;-)


    Remember the 'classic' reindeer-pulled sled that santa travels in?
    Started out as a PR stunt by a man in Alaska selling Caribou meat...

    Me?
    On the 24th, I expect there will be 'pinnekj
  • Heater.Heater. Posts: 21,230
    edited 2013-11-30 11:21
    There was outrage in England when reindeer meat in cans went on sale in super markets a couple of years back. I guess that was good publicity because it proved to be very popular.

    Back in the day humans used their animals for clothing, transport, work. Animals were worshipped. And they were eaten. Those animals probably had better lives than the average modern factory farmed chicken, pig or whatever has now a days. And so it continues with the Sami peoples of northern Europe and their Reindeer.

    I once knew a family that had previously raised pigs. Around the dinner table they would tell stories about one special pig that was more of a pet than a product. How it was so intelligent and friendly and run in and out of the house like a pet dog. Of course the stories always ended with how good he tasted in the end!

    Aside: In Finland the traditional Christmas dinner is a huge slab of pork roasted for half a day. The Reindeer or not in such peril at Christmas.
  • LoopyBytelooseLoopyByteloose Posts: 12,537
    edited 2013-11-30 11:29
    Christmas was canceled as an official national holiday in Taiwan about 15 or more years ago, before that it was a political holiday, Retrocession Day (at least that is what I believe it was called).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrocession_Day

    Nope, I am wrong Retrocession Day is/was Oct 25. It is Constitution Day that was cancelled as an official national holiday.. so everyone has to go to work regardless.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holidays_in_Taiwan

    We used to have a lot more days off, but then the government suddenly decide there are too many.

    Yes, yes... before Coca Cola got busy, Santa Clause was a thin guy and wore a brown or a green suit. But red and while are Coca Cola's brand colors, and children seem to be less fearful of fat people. So a revision occurred.

    I did mention venison meatballs and spaghetti in passing. I suppose that reindeer is one kind of venison, caribou another, mule deer yet another.

    Leonardo da Vinci actually claimed in his notebooks that he disliked meat. I am wondering if he was a vegetarian, and how he got through all those anatomy drawings.

    Me? I'd a nice juicy medium rare prime rib and a big baked potato any day. Just make sure I am close enough to a hospital to get an immediate angioplasty if required.

    IKEA's reindeer meatballs? With some careful shopping, I do buy their furniture. But having tried the food once, never again.

    What will I have for Chistmas this year in Taiwan? I dunno... maybe a ham and cheese Subway sandwitch on whole wheat with the Chipote sauce.
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