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The sounds your compiler makes — Parallax Forums

The sounds your compiler makes

RossHRossH Posts: 5,261
edited 2023-03-16 22:41 in General Discussion

Imagine if you could hear the sounds your various language compilers make as they compile your code:

Ada:

Sounds like a drill sergeant in a bad mood, constantly shouting that you have to go back and do it again.

Assembly language:

No recognizable words, just periodic shouts of childish glee.

C:

A quiet knowing chuckle every time it compiles a particularly devious piece of code, with an occasional snort of derision when it finds anything it considers overly verbose.

C++:

Moans of despair, interspersed with sobs of "Why me? ... why me? ..."

C#:

Periodic demands to insert another $10 to complete your compilation.

Cobol:

Constant complaints about the youth of today. Drools.

Forth:

Says some very interesting things, but to understand them you have to record them and then play them backwards.

HTML:

Repeats "Why am I even here?" ad nauseam.

Java, JavaScript:

Impressive sounding remarks which on closer inspection turn out to be mostly gibberish, with an occasional maniacal cry thrown in for no apparent reason.

Lisp:

The sound of one hand clapping.

Lua:

Speaks very slowly and very intelligently, but only in Portuguese.

Pascal, Modula-2:

Makes very pertinent observations, expressed with perfect grammar and in a charming mid-Atlantic accent.

Prolog:

Prone to long periods of quiet introspection and also laughing at its own jokes.

Spin:

Speaks fast using lots of abbreviations but never finishes a sentence. However, it does it in rainbow colors.

SQL:

Recites the complete works of William Shakespeare UNION Christopher Marlowe UNION Ben Johnson, but with the lines all mixed up.

Comments

  • JRoarkJRoark Posts: 1,214

    BASIC: Emits the squealing sounds of enthusiastic young monkees in cages banging on keyboards, not to actually compile the code, but to entice the other monkeys who have not learned to use the keyboard. Yet.

  • RossHRossH Posts: 5,261

    Fortran:

    Still makes steam engine noises even though the whole system was electrified decades ago. Blows a whistle and waves a flag on any error.

  • Addendum to C/C++: If the compiler is running in the Arduino development environment, it repeatedly yells at you to read the docs while furiously hiding the docs in some place where Indiana Jones couldn't find them.

  • PERL:

    The sound of angry stepper motors moving randomly with each new regular expression they attempt to decipher.

  • dgatelydgately Posts: 1,596

    PYTHON: (well, especially MicroPython)...

    The pure absence of any sound since since you can't find any description of the module you just imported, and haven't figured out how to write any useful code that uses that promising-sounding module.

    dgately

  • C# (while running on a dot-net Micro platform)
    Sounds of glee whilst looking for hidden pockets of gold using methods that Indiana Jones taught in his archeology classes. And sounds of moral outrage regarding the programing styles of the author.

    @localroger I was going to add to your comments on the screwy dialect used behind the scenes for the Arduino, but, ah, as usual your too good at it.

  • What about PHP?

    sorry 'bout mentioning it, a man has to eat :smile:

  • RossHRossH Posts: 5,261

    @"Andrey Demenev" said:
    What about PHP?

    sorry 'bout mentioning it, a man has to eat :smile:

    PHP:

    The sound of an empty tummy rumbling!

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