A programmer walks into a bar and says "I'll take a public void()"
The bartender replies... I'm going to make a nullpointerexception for you.
To which the programmer replied... could you repeat that?
Sensing trouble in the making, the Kangaroo at the other end of the bar jumped in... "Could you guys give it a break?"
That was a joke; I am not quite that bone-headed, even if I'm bone-headed enough to forget the smiley. :-)
If you were writing in C or spin, your lackadaisical punctuation would give an error ! When I was told the seconds in 6 weeks joke, it was by someone that was fastidious about their punctuation, so I knew he wouldn't have mistakenly had no space before the exclamation point; consequently, the answer was glaring at me.
It seems to me that if greenhouse gasses really are causing global warming, it would make sense for the Governments of the World to shut down those greenhouses.
And about those cow farts... methane... lighter than air. Put a bag on those critters and sell the methane to the government. Or grow the cows in the greenhouses after we shut them down and use the methane for heat... it collects up there near the ceiling... right where the heaters usually are. Maybe we could create a special type of flame that would burn methane cleanly. In the meantime, maybe we could allow a small number of plants back into the greenhouses just to recycle the CO2?
Sounds green to me.
CO2 is lighter than air, so we might need a fan.
I think if we just shut the doors and make sure nothing leaks out.
It seems to me that if greenhouse gasses really are causing global warming, it would make sense for the Governments of the World to shut down those greenhouses.
And about those cow farts... methane... lighter than air. Put a bag on those critters and sell the methane to the government. Or grow the cows in the greenhouses after we shut them down and use the methane for heat... it collects up there near the ceiling... right where the heaters usually are. Maybe we could create a special type of flame that would burn methane cleanly. In the meantime, maybe we could allow a small number of plants back into the greenhouses just to recycle the CO2?
Sounds green to me.
CO2 is lighter than air, so we might need a fan.
I think if we just shut the doors and make sure nothing leaks out.
Whit
Posts: 4,191
Comments
I cannot tell my Python joke here.
a python walks into a bar...
thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/man-snake-walks-bar
Some strange people out and about.
The bartender replies... I'm going to make a nullpointerexception for you.
To which the programmer replied... could you repeat that?
Sensing trouble in the making, the Kangaroo at the other end of the bar jumped in... "Could you guys give it a break?"
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/234075/what-is-your-best-programmer-joke
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
The bartender says.. "you know what? I think I'll have one too"
http://forums.parallax.com/discussion/comment/1358387/#Comment_1358387
"What do you get if you add a tree to nine?"
Ninety-tree
I almost got this one, but I gave up on the factorial expansion on the end; if I can't do a math joke in my head...
Do you know how many seconds there are in 6 weeks ?
...
10!
OCTal 31=DECimal 25
Funny how that works out.
That was a joke; I am not quite that bone-headed, even if I'm bone-headed enough to forget the smiley. :-)
If you were writing in C or spin, your lackadaisical punctuation would give an error ! When I was told the seconds in 6 weeks joke, it was by someone that was fastidious about their punctuation, so I knew he wouldn't have mistakenly had no space before the exclamation point; consequently, the answer was glaring at me.
A) Worked it out with a pencil on paper.
I'll get my coat...
Q1) What about the butcher who backed up into his meat grinder?
A1) He got a little behind in his work.
Q2) And when his wife did the same thing?
Q2) Disaster!
It seems to me that if greenhouse gasses really are causing global warming, it would make sense for the Governments of the World to shut down those greenhouses.
And about those cow farts... methane... lighter than air. Put a bag on those critters and sell the methane to the government. Or grow the cows in the greenhouses after we shut them down and use the methane for heat... it collects up there near the ceiling... right where the heaters usually are. Maybe we could create a special type of flame that would burn methane cleanly. In the meantime, maybe we could allow a small number of plants back into the greenhouses just to recycle the CO2?
Sounds green to me.
CO2 is lighter than air, so we might need a fan.
I think if we just shut the doors and make sure nothing leaks out.
They have a big sale of used robotic arm's from Los Alamos,
You can't touch them for thirty thousand years.
“ Do robots have brothers?
No, they only have transistors. ”
—LIZ HARRIS, WAUWATOSA, WISCONSIN
dgately
Car suddenly grinds to a halt.
Mechanical Engineer: "Sounds mechanical to me...I need to tear the engine down"
Electrical Engineer: "Could be electrical...let me check the wiring"
Chemical Engineer: "I would say that we have a fuel problem...we need to drain the gas and replace it"
Microsoft Software Engineer: "Wait, wait, I know...let's all just get out and get back in again"