Please help with Cat problem

Moskog

Well, as some you might remember we lost our old cat due to an eagle attack a little more than two
months ago. Later, in january we desided to get another one to fill the empty space and also for
company for the other cat living here.

I did hope these two cats now could be friends and live in harmony but so far no tolerance, the older
male does all what he can to frighten the younger and much lighter one. The older one is neutered and
about six years old and also probably more than ten kilograms of weight. The young cat is about four
months old now. The weight is nothing compared to the older one, about 2560 grams right now. The
little one is still a true male, at least for the next two months to come I guess. Reading this forum
for lots of years now I know there are many cat lovers here, thats why I ask for advice. What shall I
do to make these two to become friends and accept eachothers?

What I try right now, just started two days ago, is to join them for one hour "accept-lession" every
evening. That means I bring them to the kitchen floor and close all doors and also remove all
possiblities for the younger to escape or hide. The little one lays down flat on the floor with ears
backwards watching every step the other does. I sit beside him and try to make his attention by
keeping his favourite toy close to him. The older cat usually act like the little one does not exist
during this situation. Totally ignoring. And the little one totally ignoring me and the toy, only
concentrating on all the older cat's move.

It seems the older one love to make the younger one run. And when he does, the older one runs after,
so quick that the younger one understand he can't escape and rather lay down in a corner with all his
clows out ready to defend himself. The old lynx then just stop, watching this for a moment end then
turn around like nothing ever happend. Probably triumphing another successfully "scared the little
s*** to death".

I've heard there are some kind of spray to use to calm down cats in some kinds of situations. But I
have no ideas if that cound be a solution here, who should I calm down, the victim or the culprit or
perhaps myself.

Please, forum members, I need your advises!



This thread should not validate any rules of General Discussion forum, the cat, at least the younger
one use to join me at the work bench when I play with my Propeller projects!

Courtney Jacobs

A good way to get them comfortable in each other's space is to have them play together but not with each other directly. A wand toy with a feather attachment or mouse on a string is the perfect tool for this.

Allow both cats to 'chase' and 'catch' the toy, bring each cat near to the other while letting them focus on a common enemy rather than one another. This will expend your older cat's hunting energy and satisfy its need to attack something, without making your younger cat its target.

Doing this twice per day before meal time, and then feeding them directly afterward is best. Treating them afterward is an alternative to feeding them if they don't have set meal times.

erco

Your older fat cat is getting some well-needed exercise at the kitten's expense. He sounds surprisingly active, many male cats get lazy and just sit around after neutering. Hope they find a way to play nice together.

LoopyByteloose

I am wondering if some rough play is being misidentified as hostility. It seems too early to tell. But getting them to both engage in the same guided play should be very helpful in determining if this is all going well or not. Taking the lead in getting them to play well together may make everything come together well.

My 13-year old mutt surprises me with playful moods -- at times it is with me and at other times with younger dogs. I take it as a sign that he is mentally in a good place even though his body is aging. And he still chases cats... just doesn't put as much effort into it.

Heater.

Of course. There is you answer. Get a dog

I'd certainly go for the play time together. I bet a laser pointer will keep their minds off each other very well.

mindrobots

Two males will tend to fight. Sometimes they never get along, sometimes they agree to disagree, sometimes, they become best friends.

A lot of this may just be cat personality. Sometimes, friends may be too much to ask. We've settled for acceptance and tolerance with some cats.

Cat play is rough. Cat sex is even rougher (according to our vet, no first hand experience).

If you have a room you can put new cat in and put a baby gate across the door (we actually needed two because cats are good jumpers), this allows them to see each other, interact if they want to but doesn't force anyone to interact. We went this way for a week or two and then put the new cat into the herd. It has worked well in the past.

There are plug ins that put "cat calming" pheromones into the air. Just like anything, they work sometimes and sometimes not. The ones I've seen are an area effect not a spray where you target one cat to mellow out.

They will need to establish a social order and it may change as the cats grow and change. We have 5 cats now and you notice subtle changes in the pecking order over time. They will work something out, in the end I think cats are social animals with a common goal of ruling over their humans.

I like Courtney's idea if you ca get them to focus on a common goal.

Hal Albach

Then there is that TV show on Animal Planet channel, "My Cat from Hell" usually has good advice on handling cat behavioral issues.

GordonMcComb

Hal Albach wrote: »

Then there is that TV show on Animal Planet channel, "My Cat from Hell" usually has good advice on handling cat behavioral issues.

I was going to suggest that as well. Jackson Galaxy isn't everyone's cup of tea, but in the end, his suggestions are fairly mainstream for feline behavior mod. Courtney's suggestions seem to me spot on as well.

Heater.

"Jackson Galaxy". What? Is that for real?

As a kid my friend lived on a dairy farm. There must have been twenty cats on that farm. One almost never saw any of them, they were very shy of humans. They kept out of each others way as well. Except for some certain natural urges.

But sure enough, at milking time, 5am, they all had their heads down in the same milk trough in a very orderly and civilized fashion. A reward for their rodent control duties.

I can't help but think that squeezing animals into some situation that is not natural for them is not a good idea.

rogersyd

Moskog wrote: »

I've heard there are some kind of spray to use to calm down cats in some kinds of situations. But I
have no ideas if that cound be a solution here, who should I calm down, the victim or the culprit or
perhaps myself.

I use a few drops of "Rescue Remedy" to calm down my kitty before long car rides and vet visits. It is all natural and works great.
http://www.bachflower.com/

Good luck!

Heater.

Yeah, drug your pets into a stupor that will fix it. Works for humans

KMyers

For my son who has done this twice in recent years keep them seperated from each other but so they can see each other. Feed them at the same time in full view of each other. After several days they will get used to each other.

Hope this helps and is readable darn raspi.....

tomcrawford

mindrobots wrote: »

They will work something out, in the end I think cats are social animals with a common goal of ruling over their humans.

I like Courtney's idea if you ca get them to focus on a common goal.

+1E6

Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi)

Finally! A genuine, real-life problem for forumistas to focus on to take their minds off of 0-0!

In my experience with Browser, the neutering didn't make him lazy or even less aggressive. He was the bane of the neighbor cats -- well actually more like the smart-aleck punk kid who always starts fights but never wins. I was almost certain that the vet must've left something behind!

Moskog, I hope you're able to get your two cats to socialize. Courtney's approach seems very sensible to me and sounds as if it comes from experience.

-Phil

4x5n

Sometimes it takes a while for a new cat/kitten to be excepted. I have two 10yr old male cats that have been together for all but a few weeks of their lives and at best they tolerate each others existence! They don't try to hurt or kill each other but you can tell they're not friends. Last Oct I got a third little kitty that I got as a rescue. She weighed 6oz the day I picked her up and I was afraid of the reaction of my other two cats. The first couple of weeks they spent a lot of time growling and hissing at her but never hurt her or even tried. After about a month things got better and now she's the best of buds with the two male cats.

The most important thing is to not show any favoritism or give any less attention, petting, loving to the existing cat(s) and in my never humble opinion don't interfere with their interactions or break up their fights unless they're trying to or actually are hurting each other. Let them settle it themselves.

LoopyByteloose

Just remember that 'herding cats' is an analogy for doing the impossible.

Since the older one is neutered, you may not have too much trouble. All that talk about males not getting on well may not apply. But consider getting the same for the young one before he does become a problem. The whole situation could swing toward him being the agressor.

NWCCTV

Two words. CAT NIP!!!!! Worked for me several years ago when I had the same situation.

Tor

An old cat will have an established territory (which is often surprisingly large), it's "his". A new cat, young or not, will be an intruder. So there's some work to get that sorted out.
Neutering doesn't really change already established habits. It sometimes does absolutely nothing, particularly when the cat is already an adult.

User Name

Reading about "Rescue Remedy" I concluded I ought to be taking it.

At one time we had seven cats (unfortunately we have zero atm). They had their issues with each other but whenever I would sit on the bed and read they would all wander in, one at a time, and cautiously take a position on the bed. (Somewhere I've got a picture...) It amazed me they would put aside their mutual enmity for the satisfaction of hanging out with the lord of the manor. Maybe they figured that within my sphere of influence they would be protected from bullying.

Moskog

Thanks for many good advices here, I think I will go for Courtney's suggestion on playing and then feeding them. I will see if I can find something the little one really can't resist. Something much better then the dryfood he usually eat. The big one can get some of the young cat's dryfood because I know he prefer that instead of his own less tasty food for slimmers.
Can't wait to start!