I love the sound of "Corporate Speak" in the morning.....
mindrobots
Posts: 6,506
.....it sounds like victory!!!
After reading that, I can rest assured of our corporate direction and goals!!
System Development Engineering (SDE) is aligning EMEA based resource groups inside the current operating model to drive systematic improvement within the efficiency model as well as enhance the customer experience and cycle times.
After reading that, I can rest assured of our corporate direction and goals!!
Comments
Payday is Monday - if I still get paid, it's all good!! (my corporate strategies are very simple)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Functional_programming
Go for it!!! I've raised dysfunctional programming to an art form!!
I'm to old to switch paradigms.
And still they managed to make great programs back in the day.
I have some serious concerns with this paradigmatic analysis. It implies that the current operating model and the efficiency model are two distinct entities. Obviously a system review is called for by the governing body to incorporate higher integration crossthreads with the blind hole immacularities under a sweeping consolidation of psychopompic lactations.
You're going to need attend some diversity counseling ElectricAye.
For a company such as ours that celebrates diversity it is unconscionable to consider or even mention lactations when there may be people present who are lactose intolerant.
I'm very disappointed in you, you should know better.
C.W.
Wait a minute....aren't you self employed?? So "celebrating diversity" means you pretty much accept and/or tolerate most of what you do??
Well, yeah, I was daydreaming again...
C.W.
But... but... but I thought I was being diversity-enhancing in my corporate eructations. Never to be out-diversified, by suggesting psychopompic lactations, I was... um... well... including recently deceased people along with the living.
According to wikipedia:
Seems I can't please nobody these days.
I'll make an attempt to translate.
The engineering managers are going to be teaming up with the EMEA groups who have some special skills in other areas (packaging, marketing, manufacturing). Then, the giant organization is going to try to function like it has one brain by finding ways to make the whole process cheaper, better, and faster. In the end the customer might get a few big wins along the way.
Am I close?
Ken Gracey
Maybe. We're so big, I'm not really sure what these groups do.
I know "enhance customer experience and cycle times" are boilerplate - you can't lose stating that!
"Drive systematic improvement" with two intersecting models?? Somebody is out walking their MBA!
And if you can align resource groups - pay dirt!! You've probably uncovered redundancies (from a cursory study) and can reduce some headcount before the redundancies are recognized as not really being redundant but just a misreading of the model and misunderstanding of roles.
Never happens... the guys upstairs just end up having to quash a rebellion.
Of course it could mean something entirely different.
"Get cracking or we are going to downsize and relocate to Vietnam."
Mine would be the sub-text speaking, not the text message.
Tea breaks? Must be British or a colonial enterprise.
That's the way it was and we liked it!
...without compromising the shortcomings of either. We celebrate their richness of limitations.
Got to love corporate emails. On occasion I just cannot resist answering something like that by asking for clarification. Even have a bit of boiler plate to modify for that.
" This seems to be an important matter but I am not sure I understand the intent of this email. Perhaps you could change the language a bit to improve the clarity. Perhaps the use of English could even be considered."
In some cases it has even got me off an email list.
Kind of like telling a telephone salesperson, " Please, please speak slowly. My English is no good." They promptly hang up.
I am patiently waiting for the Information Age to morph into the Communication Age. Only then will what people have to say be meaningful.
"current operating model" = what they are doing now
"drive" = reach the goal, inverted so that the goal is expressed in terms of sweat and orders given, and the exact goal is the max product of the sweat, not some well identified thing people could actually accomplish and feel good about it. Do better always, no matter what, it's always needing to be better.
"efficiency model" = All the ideas that describe how to "drive"
"resource groups" = people who know what they are doing, as opposed to "people", not "resources" who don't know what they are doing, but do know a lot about what they want.
"system development engineering" = engineering by MBA types in the same way a sanitation engineer is garbage collection.
"Enhance customer experience" = improve capacity to more efficiently process cockups secured by sales, who calls them "wins"
"cycle times" = latency between the MBA types figuring out what they want and the actualization of what they want, otherwise expressed as "customer" or "market" expectations, most importantly, not their own demand. They are of course, just the messenger.
Have fun with all that!
Outside of the grammar, spelling and usage paradigms and your disdain of such, you're waiting for what never was nor ever shall be.
Given that, you plop and chunk letters together and everyone else is supposed to deduce your feelings about something or other somehow.