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NWCCTVNWCCTV Posts: 3,629
edited 2014-02-05 10:41 in General Discussion
I am not sure if anyone had even noticed, but for the past couple of months my time and postings on the Forums have been very limited.
Time to explain: The week before Thanksgiving my brother (whom I am very close with and lives just down the hill from me) was in the ER. They diagnosed him with cancer throughout his entire body but could not confirm what type it was. After transferring him to 2 other hospitals they found that it was Small Cell Lung Cancer. A very rapidly spreading cancer. They put him immediately on Chemo and Radiation therapy. They would not let him go home because there was no one to keep an eye
on him 24/7 and he had no Insurance. (Obamacare site was down, he tried). So, my son volunteered to keep an eye on him as did his son and myself. We figured since he was going to pass away within year that we would get him to his own home as this was what he wanted. His only dream was to see the Seattle Seahawks win the Super Bowl. For Christmas I had bought him a Russell Wilson Jersey and Seahawk hat. He watched the NFC playoff game and was ecstatic the Seahawks won. Needless to say, the cancer was too much. The following day he had a stroke from the cancer swelling in his brain. 2 days after that he passed away quietly while I was at the hospital with him. He would have been 53 next Monday. He was cremated with his Jersey and Hat and low and behold the Seahawks pulled it off!!! I have since quite smoking and everyone in my family is also working on it. I am only one year younger and this really smacked me in the face with a dose of reality. Life is too short, enjoy it while you can.

Comments

  • ctwardellctwardell Posts: 1,716
    edited 2014-02-04 11:59
    i give my deepest condolences to you and your family.

    Life is definitely too short.

    Chris Wardell
  • Duane DegnDuane Degn Posts: 10,588
    edited 2014-02-04 12:18
    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

    We all complain about getting older until we realize what the alternative is.

    53 is much too young. I'm glad you had a chance to spend some time with him before he passed.
  • Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi)Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi) Posts: 23,514
    edited 2014-02-04 12:23
    My deepest sympathy, Andy. You were a good brother to him to the very end.

    And do make every effort to give up the cigs. I did it more than 30 years ago. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done but worth every pang and withdrawal to accomplish.

    -Phil
  • mindrobotsmindrobots Posts: 6,506
    edited 2014-02-04 12:51
    So sorry to hear that your brother has passed. I remember you talking a bit about where your time would be going toward the end of last year. How wonderful that you and your son and his son got to be with him as he went through everything surrounding this. The caretaking is a terrible burden for everyone involved but it really is time you all will appreciate when you look back!

    He probably knew the Seahawks were going to win, so he could leave in peace.

    I'll be turning 54 in three short weeks, so I will echo the thought. "53 is way too young!"
  • jazzedjazzed Posts: 11,803
    edited 2014-02-04 13:21
    Andy,

    The story is so sad. I'm so sorry you had to face losing your brother this way. It seems that he gave you lasting joy and many things to consider.

    May the lord bless you and keep you. May you and your family find peace.

    As for smoking ... make up your mind completely first, then go cold turkey, and use the patch. That's what I did and am smoke free now for the last 14 years. There are hard times ahead in quitting, and the patch works, but it will give you vivid nightmares.
  • ercoerco Posts: 20,256
    edited 2014-02-04 15:07
    Andy: Very sorry for your loss. I did remember that you were spending less time in the forum to spend with your brother. Per Rick, that's an ordeal that pulls families & friends together and makes you rethink priorities.

    Your brother is happy to have the Seahawks win, and we're happy that you're smoke-free and perhaps soon ready to resume some electronic diversions. God bless you and your family.
  • NWCCTVNWCCTV Posts: 3,629
    edited 2014-02-04 15:15
    Thank you all for the kind words. I did go cold turkey even without the patch. It has been more than 2 months smoke free. I figured if I could quit at this stressful time in life then I have it beat. I keep a bag of tootsie pops around because I still get an urge now and then and they curb it. Thanks again for all the kind words.
  • TCTC Posts: 1,019
    edited 2014-02-04 16:00
    I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

    For the smoking, I quit after smoking since I was 12. You feel better after a few days. Most states have a smoking quit line. The will offer support, and a month's supply of help quit aids(patch, gum, lozenges), if you need it. My biggest help was my friends and family, and spearmint gum.
  • NWCCTVNWCCTV Posts: 3,629
    edited 2014-02-04 17:08
    Another thing that will help is getting back to some projects. Keeping my hands busy usually works. Several years ago my wife and I both quit but then our daughter became a teenager and the stress was too much!!! Seeing my brother in the condition he was in after only a couple short months was anecdote enough for me!!!
  • xanatosxanatos Posts: 1,120
    edited 2014-02-04 20:11
    I'm very sorry for your loss. I do hope that one of the gifts from your brother is a lasting motivation to remain smoke free. I've lost a cousin and an uncle to that same demon. And 53 is decades too young.
  • Ken GraceyKen Gracey Posts: 7,392
    edited 2014-02-04 20:16
    Hey Andy,

    So sorry to hear about your brother's passing. Nobody is ever prepared for the loss of a sibling. From your history around here I'm sure you've done the best you could in this situation.

    I lost a friend last Friday at age 50. This person I'd worked with for several years in the mid-90s, and we've continued to live in the same small community. His passing was also an abrupt surprise - the result of H1N1.

    I lost yet another friend at age 50 due to lunch cancer two years ago. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and lived for five years before it finally ended.

    50 is so young. There's nothing else to say about it, except that it seems far too soon. Quitting the cigs is a real tribute to your brother, too.

    Hang in there and know that you have our support. We're glad to see you back, too.

    Sincerely,

    Ken Gracey
  • davejamesdavejames Posts: 4,047
    edited 2014-02-04 23:17
    (...sigh...)

    Condolences and strength to you and the family.
  • ErlendErlend Posts: 612
    edited 2014-02-04 23:44
    I have a brother, age 53. I wish you and your family strength and new days of sunshine.

    Erlend
  • Matt GillilandMatt Gilliland Posts: 1,406
    edited 2014-02-05 07:39
    Hi Andy - I am so sorry for your loss.

    One year ago my father-in-law was diagnosed with liver/colon/pancreatic cancer.
    He passed away this last week.

    My condolences to you and your family...
    -MattG
  • dmagnusdmagnus Posts: 271
    edited 2014-02-05 08:34
    Condolences, Andy.
    I have two younger brothers, both have various ailments mainly the result of smoking since they were about 14-15. I started when I was 15 and smoked for 20 years. Then I came across a remarkable program that helped me quit in 5 weeks. Haven't had a smoke or the desire for over 35 years now. I just turned 70 and am in much better shape than my brothers aged 65 and 60. Both are "disabled", I'm still working. Neither can move around well at all, I am physically active. One is still smoking and I'm afraid that he will never quit. The other has COPD, mainly from smoking, but there are other reasons, too. He is on oxygen part of the day and can't walk 50' without having to rest. Just a few years ago we all used to play golf together - walking. It's tough to see that.
    I attribute my health to quitting all those years ago. It's definitely worth it. Don't "give it up", just QUIT. That idea is one of the main motivators. If you "give it up" you are lamenting the loss of something dear to you. If you "quit", you are making a statement that you don't need it anymore.
    Hang in there. Soon you won't miss them at all.
  • PublisonPublison Posts: 12,366
    edited 2014-02-05 10:41
    Condolences also,
    I lost my father 15 years ago to cancer.
    But I have interaction with him through dreams at least once a week. We still discuss engineering stuff.
    I hope you can find a similar situation.
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