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A question I would like to ask... but probably shouldn't since there is no righ — Parallax Forums

A question I would like to ask... but probably shouldn't since there is no righ

rjo_rjo_ Posts: 1,825
edited 2010-05-21 14:28 in General Discussion
I· have been dying to ask this... but I didn't want to be misunderstood.· So, let me make it clear that I am
not asking the following question because I want a date... I am happy with my life just the way it is[noparse]:)[/noparse]

Has·anyone actually met Hollyminkowski?··Is she really a woman?· Is her name actually Minkowski...and by any good grace is she related to the guy who gave us Einstein?




Post Edited (rjo_) : 5/20/2010 1:11:00 PM GMT
«1

Comments

  • W9GFOW9GFO Posts: 4,010
    edited 2010-05-19 18:36
    rjo_ said...
    Has anyone actually met Hollyminkowski?

    Good question. I recall her commenting on remaining anonymous. She takes care not to give out information that could lead to revealing her identity and location.

    Rich H

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  • rjo_rjo_ Posts: 1,825
    edited 2010-05-19 18:40
    So... I guess I guess I can assume that Minkowski is not her/his name[noparse]:)[/noparse]
  • SRLMSRLM Posts: 5,045
    edited 2010-05-19 20:26
    Statistically, the forums are a terrible place for gender diversity (at least those who are open about it). Computer science should have 25% of it's graduates be women, and electrical engineering is 7.4%.

    www.nsf.gov/statistics/wmpd/pdf/tabh-5.pdf

    Looking at the member list for top posters, there are only a few people with suitably ambiguous names that could potentially be female (based strongly on the name and some on the avatar, and probably influenced by my experience of their posts):

    Loopy Byteloose
    SRLM
    Newzed
    hippy
    Zoot
    T&E Engineer
    pjv
    Forrest
    Gadgetman
    CounterRotatingProps
    metron9
    MagIO2
    computer guy
    Unsoundcode


    Browsing from the member list from most to least, Holly is the first clearly female name encountered, and followed by Steph Lindsay (Parallax), Jessica Uelmen (Parallax), Lauren Davis (Parallax), Jen J. (Parallax), and [noparse][[/noparse]I don't know]. I stopped after page 12.

    An interesting member find: http://forums.parallax.com/member.php?u=41606

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    Post Edited (SRLM) : 5/19/2010 8:46:05 PM GMT
  • edited 2010-05-19 22:21
    Guys,

    Can you predict the reaction of anybody given the attention you are giving someone?· Is it warranted or unwarranted?

    I'm married but personally I like the user posting here because it is valuable information.

    I feel that some internet friends should stay internet friends.· I've had some distant friends misrepresent themselves which is why I believe that some internet friends should just stay internet friends because I don't believe in or I am unsure of making friends in five minutes.

    Chuck
  • ercoerco Posts: 20,260
    edited 2010-05-19 22:38
    She sure sounds like a woman based on some of the girly stuff she posted about my twins recently! She said she likes to change diapers! I believe she may have gone with Ken to China on his last trip, perhaps he can confirm. It sounds like she recently moved out of the country. That's all I know...

    I'm sure the inimitable and enthusiastic Holly will jump into this thread to set the record straight!

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  • ZootZoot Posts: 2,227
    edited 2010-05-19 22:42
    I am most certainly a duck.

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  • HollyMinkowskiHollyMinkowski Posts: 1,398
    edited 2010-05-19 23:11
    Um, this was an odd thread to see when I logged on.

    A private mail might have been better?

    Minkowski is not a very rare name. Holly Minkowski is my real name, if I wanted to
    choose a pseudonym I'd have come up with something a bit flashier.
  • rjo_rjo_ Posts: 1,825
    edited 2010-05-19 23:57
    Holly,

    Didn't mean to offend your sensibilities. I didn't know that Minkowski was a common name... in fact, I thought it to be so uncommon that it had to be your nick. And I don't really have a private reason to contact you... In fact, I would have felt rather strange doing so. As you know on the internet anyone can say that they are anyone... and there really isn't a way to actually know... unless someone actually has met you.

    The question I wanted to ask is "are you related to ... blah, blah, blah."" My next question would have been... are you familiar with blah, blah, blah. If all of that had transpired... I was going to ask you a serious question about blah blah blah.

    But I felt rather stupid doing that because I thought your nick was probably just a Nick and any answer I got would not have been worth my time.

    Sometimes there isn't any easy or clear way to do things. A person just has to muddle through and hope for the best.



    Rich
  • TubularTubular Posts: 4,718
    edited 2010-05-20 00:17
    What an awkward thread. Rjo I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt by thinking you're just very curious.

    tubular
    (not my real name)
  • rjo_rjo_ Posts: 1,825
    edited 2010-05-20 00:27
    That is it exactly... I was headed for a real issue... but this wasnt good[noparse]:)[/noparse]

    I tried... that's the best I can say. And I was fully awake when I did it[noparse]:)[/noparse]
  • rjo_rjo_ Posts: 1,825
    edited 2010-05-20 00:29
    I couldn't find a way that wasn't awkward... and I don't mind a little egg on my face.

    Sorry Holly
  • rjo_rjo_ Posts: 1,825
    edited 2010-05-20 00:30
    AND I thought about it a long time before I did it!!!!

    Sorry
  • RavenkallenRavenkallen Posts: 1,057
    edited 2010-05-20 01:19
    Eh, i have probably asked weirder questions. don't feel to bad rjo_....
  • RavenkallenRavenkallen Posts: 1,057
    edited 2010-05-20 01:20
    @SRLM. You put your name on the list to?
  • John R.John R. Posts: 1,376
    edited 2010-05-20 01:37
    Let's give rjo_ the benefit of the doubt. Let's also be honest with ourselves and with Holly. This is a predominantly male community. Along comes Holly (is that a song lead in), with the roller skating avatar, AND intelligence about our little corner of the world. How may of us weren't/aren't curious about who this Holly person is?

    Yes, it is awkward. Yes, it may have bordered on inappropriate, and especially, yes this thread is embarrassing for Holly (and rjo_).

    But now we all KNOW, and can go about our business, and better appreciate the diversity of our community.

    rjo_: Anyone who says they weren't at least a little curious themselves is lying. Relax, and stop blushing.

    Holly: If you weren't as insightful and knowledgeable as you are, this would never have come up.

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  • RavenkallenRavenkallen Posts: 1,057
    edited 2010-05-20 01:42
    Whoa, this is intense.
  • MikerocontrollerMikerocontroller Posts: 310
    edited 2010-05-20 02:14
    ·I do know a girl who was curious about the workings of LED's.· I showed her how to observe the polarity and how to hook up a load resistor.· She tells anyone who will listen how the LED's have very low current "insumption" and are more efficient than "irritesent" lights.· She is no Holly Minkowski..... (and she weighs more)
  • Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi)Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi) Posts: 23,514
    edited 2010-05-20 02:19
    John R. said...
    Along comes Holly ..., with the roller skating avatar, AND intelligence about our little corner of the world. ... Holly: If you weren't as insightful and knowledgeable as you are, this would never have come up.
    John, when you're in a hole, it's better to quit digging. smile.gif You make it sound as if it's unexpected that a woman be intelligent, knowledgeable, and insightful about engineering matters, and that "our little corner" is a men's club of some sort. 'Just sayin' ...

    -Phil
  • John R.John R. Posts: 1,376
    edited 2010-05-20 03:10
    Just because the shovel is handy...

    I know what you're saying Phil, and how my comments could have been taken that way, but that's now how I meant it.

    Trying to clarify, and more likely digging even deeper, it's not that I don't expect to find intelligent women, or that this is a "boys club", but the fact remains that we have a very high percentage of men, and low percentage of women. (Actually I meant "our little corner of the world" to be "Parallax Products and Electronics", and was thinking nothing about gender at the time I wrote it. Interesting to look back and see how it looks from a different set of eyes.)

    More significantly, and more where the comment was meant to come from, we also have a number of members here who "stand out" because of the nature of their posts. How many people would not pay attention to post by yourself on the line scanner, etc.? Your knowledge in these (and other) areas makes you (actually your posts) stand out. I guess what I'm unsuccessfully trying to say, is that if someone's (male/female/animal/animatron) posts were "unnoticeable" we would never have thought about it or noticed them.

    Right, wrong, or indifferent, the fact that Holly has high quality posts, that on their own attract attention, AND she is statistically "different" from the super-majority, is a combination that (again, right, wrong or indifferent) attracts attention.

    All that said, you bring up a more valid point that I amplified with the above: Why should gender make a difference? It shouldn't. Its not we're "shocked" that someone is "different", but none the less, it stands out.

    And this thread, including (maybe especially) my musings, may have done more harm than good. I would hope that like all issues of "difference", open, respectful, and frank discussion, can turn into a good thing.

    Did I get down 6 feet yet? Is so, start filling in over me.

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    Click here to see my Nomad Build Log
  • localrogerlocalroger Posts: 3,452
    edited 2010-05-20 03:30
    FWIW I never had any reason to doubt Holly was a girl. I am pretty sure I remember seeing a pic of her, probably self-linked as part of some project thread. I find her avatar enchanting. But I might have found this obvious conclusion easy because the usual male-female thing of "hmmm, could I get into her pants" never entered my mind since I am (1) a lot older (2) married (3) really do love my wife in the sense that I'd die for her and (4) not as fascinated by the idea of banging younger women as some (most?) men my age seem to be.

    It is a pretty sad state of affairs (and not really Parallax's fault, they didn't create the society in which we live) where a skilled person is treated differently because she might be female. And you know, I'm a bit guilty of that myself; I've taken a secret thrill in seeing Holly's rollerskating avatar just because I like the idea that a girl gets the "it" that I so easily get, and so few women seem to. And that's not right, because I don't get that little thrill from Cluso's avatar, even though I've had a landlubbing interest in shipboarding for a long time.

    My conclusion is that humans are screwed up. I'll leave the figuring out how to deal with that to some sensible board of entities that aren't screwed up.
  • lardomlardom Posts: 1,659
    edited 2010-05-20 03:57
    Thanks Phil. It always seemed clear to me that both you and Holly both used your real names. Maybe I should use my name, Larry McGrew. I assumed·when I joined this forum that women were part of this community. People who are not so tech minded would·see all of us more as nerds as opposed to a mens club.·I'm still a beginner so the nerd label is a compliment. Holly, if you're reading this I want you to know I'm one of your fans. ·

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  • Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi)Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi) Posts: 23,514
    edited 2010-05-20 04:41
    Heaven knows, I'm not without sin in the chauvinism department, so it was probably unfair of me to lob a stone in John R's direction. But I thought he parried it rather deftly; and, all in all, I guess it served as a "teachable moment" for all of us; so I don't feel bad about it.

    Regarding the use of real names: I do in this forum because of my loose affiliation with Parallax, so I didn't want to hide behind a pseudonym. (I've considered adding mischievous alter egos, though, but that's agin' the rules.) Nonetheless, I can certainly understand the need for anonymity among some forumistas, especially those whose employment situations could be compromised by full identity revelations.

    -Phil
  • T ChapT Chap Posts: 4,223
    edited 2010-05-20 04:55
    rjo, at a minimum I think it would be appropriate to change the thread title to remove the name.. I think it is obvious from her response that the attention was awkward. Just saying.
  • Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi)Phil Pilgrim (PhiPi) Posts: 23,514
    edited 2010-05-20 04:59
    Rich, I agree with Todd.

    -Phil
  • HollyMinkowskiHollyMinkowski Posts: 1,398
    edited 2010-05-20 07:10
    Oy vey, I guess my 15 minutes hasn't run out yet.

    Seriously guys, I'm not this interesting. Some are saying here that my posts are
    really something special... That makes me feel odd since I'm certainly not on the
    list of the best engineers here, heck, I'm happy just to be able to post and not
    look too stupid. I'm just a programmer and that is easy for me somehow but I'm
    pretty much useless with hardware. I do know what all the parts do, I just can't
    design something complicated from scratch... I sometimes just keep tinkering until it sorta
    works and then get opinions on how to improve it. I have zero education in engineering
    other than what comes in through osmosis from the guys at work. I did want to go to
    engineering school, I was unable to go at the proper time because of obligations.
    And now I am having so much fun just coding and playing that I hate to even think about
    spending years in school.

    The thing is, I know that if I was a guy with my same level of skills no one would even
    notice me, so that means it's because I'm female that my modest skill gets attention...it
    just feels funny, like I get extra points because I'm the girl and it's a shocker
    that I can work with this stuff at all <groan> I was sailing along just not paying attention to these
    obvious facts, but this thread forces me to dwell on it.

    A while back I noticed a poster that had an avatar of a small girl and I though since the name
    was shmoopy that another girl had become a regular poster and used a childhood image as avatar....woohoo.
    But then later the avatar changed and it turned out to be Martin LoL ..he has a sweet face, Maybe the image was of him as a child?
    I have seen a few other females make posts but I don't remember their names as they
    post so rarely.

    As a point of info: Females on a forum almost always just use their name instead of making up
    a nick name....no idea why it is...
  • W9GFOW9GFO Posts: 4,010
    edited 2010-05-20 07:47
    HollyMinkowski said...
    ...it just feels funny, like I get extra points because I'm the girl and it's a shocker
    that I can work with this stuff at all <groan>

    No, it's a shocker that you chose to work with this stuff at all.

    And it's not a "shocker", just interesting. Pretty much any post by a female in a male dominated forum is going to get more attention. Attention is good. What's the longest it has taken for one of your topics to receive a reply? Not long I'd bet.

    Don't let it go to your head. You're special, but not that special. smilewinkgrin.gif

    Rich H

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  • sylvie369sylvie369 Posts: 1,622
    edited 2010-05-20 08:33
    I've got a little experience with this, since my username is (unambiguously, I think) female. Sylvie is my cat, not me, and I used to use "From a guy, despite the username" as my signature file (before I ever arrived at the Parallax forums, that is).

    On a couple of occasions I thought I was getting more/quicker replies because of the female name (no, that was never the intention), but overall if there was an effect, it was one you'd have to squint pretty hard to see.
  • potatoheadpotatohead Posts: 10,261
    edited 2010-05-20 08:38
    Holly, I've had some similar experiences on both extremes, including some time spent working among a lot of women in a family law practice. I do not practice law, but am a study of it for both personal and professional reasons.

    Anyway, for a time I was the only guy among some alpha women and felt out of place, intimidated, goofy more than once, and more or less had to work among them during an intense, extended and challenging time. It was really bizarre to hear the conversation, or walk in, and seem "outside" of it all, yet welcome and needed, with some of that special "guy" attention mixed in there, just as you describe.

    On the flip side, I taught solid modeling to engineers and students for a number of years as well. Week long sessions, intense, close quarters, lots of interaction, and adult learning issues where it's important to speak to the students where they are at. Sometimes people vary considerably in their core knowledge and things they relate to, making adult education of that kind difficult, if one has not had some exposure to both genders and how they generally tend to interact with others and the material.

    Women were perhaps 5 to 10 percent of the student body over time. After working with the attorneys, I took a bit of that back with me, more able to break the ice when I had a mixed gender class and for that I am grateful! IMHO, women generally can deal with a strong gender imbalance better than men can, based on my experiences so far... maybe it's just the mostly technical sample I'm used to.

    Anyway, I read this thread and was struck by it, and thought I would share. It's perfectly benign to be curious. Asking is always gonna be a mixed bag though. IMHO, best form is to either not ask at all, or do it and be humble!

    IMHO, mixed gender workplaces are the best overall. It's almost as if we grow rigid, stale and autonomous without that.

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  • skylightskylight Posts: 1,915
    edited 2010-05-20 11:17
    I'm not female, I'm just a lumberjack who wears high heels cool.gif
  • IRobot2IRobot2 Posts: 164
    edited 2010-05-20 13:49
    I know that while attending UPEC my girlfriend (Leigh) was asked about every ten minutes if she hated being there/understood anything/had to put up with this/wanted to kill me/etc. She took it all very well and we laughed about it later (as it was her idea to go) {and had such a fantastic time we are still talking about it}. She already knows as a female Engineering student herself, that this is just the beginning and should even expect to see actual harsh comments and such as she joins the workforce. On top of that, she usually gets put into the umm… blond… category every where she goes even though she is always at the top of her class and probably has more common sense than I do.

    My sister (also an Engineer) has told me some of the horror stories over the years of comments –among other things- that she has had to put up with every day. I guess you learn to deal with it. It has made her stronger (and whether she will agree with me or not) has trained her to always do her very best… and then some… to try to stay in a leading role in every project she is put on. I guess when you are never given the benefit of the doubt if you know something or not, you constantly have to prove it.

    As my 2cents, it’s not that any of us really mean to treat women in this field differently; it comes down to nature, stereotypes and plain curiosity, as they have been explained here. When people break the norm, those people get attention bad or good. It’s like having a bright red car amongst dark blue ones. We all want to see why there is a red one here and wonder what it is all about. Its especially true for us Engineers/Technicians/Enthusiast’s… it is our very own nature to drift toward the shiny new things and start questioning it.

    Even Leigh said this forum seems like a little bit of a boys club. Probably one reason she reads and does not post. I don’t even think she has an account. *I wonder how many girls are actually “here” like that.* I will see if I cannot talk her into giving her perspective too. I can’t see a better time for her to start posting.

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